It turned Spring and Then She was Gone (Meditation for Good Friday)

I walked toward the open casket, eager to see her with my own eyes yet at the same time longing for it to be empty. When I reached her, as ridiculous as it sounds, I grabbed onto her, called her name and wept. I wanted to hug her, wake her. My mom, in concern for me said, “Emily, please don’t touch her” I didn’t want to let go. It was the coldness of her skin that finally made it real.

Spring, a season associated with budding flowers, prancing creatures, dancing insects and giddy outdoors is for me a time of mixed feelings, grueling flashbacks, tense shoulders and weeping nights. So it is, when I see Spring I see blood all over it. One of my poems says, "A canvased field covered crimson"

I have vivid memories of toiling in my garden, it was the only thing I could keep alive, I too was dying. Easter sets the stage before my sister’s death and I have come to a place this year where I can say I am thankful for this setting. 

It is a time when I long for the Rider and His Horse more than ever. It is a time when I relate the closest to death, to the tomb and to the promised resurrection. It is a time when I understand more vividly the feelings of Christ’s family watching Him hang and the depth of agony God had over His very son bleeding before His eyes. Then there are the faces of those who saw Jesus after the tomb. Beams of heaven filled the disciples' eyes and reflecting within their pupil was resurrection in its fullest. 

My little boy has seen Hailey resurrected. He was only one years old when she died. Yet, he has seen her at the end of his bed, rays of light, lots of white, and she is smiling. She nubs noses with him like she use to when he was a baby. His story never changes. His description is in detail and his account of her is true. 

Jesus' death is the only way my boys story has details and Jesus’ tomb is the only way we have the promise of a trumpet. I kissed her casket before it was lowered. One day I will kiss her face and THIS resurrection reunion will reflect within the eyes of Him who said, “It is finished.” 

Prevention

As surprising as it may seem, Spring and Summer are the highest seasons for suicide.

An extremely disturbing new study published in the American Journal of Public Health finds that suicides have replaced car accidents as the leading cause of injury-related death in the U.S.

More on suicide prevention and learning the signs visit: http://suicide.org/